SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

theres ony like a week til assesment n i've done fuck all for the last to weeks! i havnt bin dossin though (can i jus point that out) so hopefully will be able to get me arse into gear when i get back on monday! iv ony got a week left of this bollocks n then i can focus on thailand!!! am hopefully goin to be doin some video work out there (as a fayvour to one of me mates) but mainly i'm jus to ecxited! mayeb then i can come back to uni n not be so pissed off with it when we start second year! if JMU gets its arse into gear i'll be well happy!

brakethrough!!!

have finally hada brakethrough with the essay! am well chuffed! jus need somethin to happen with the studio work but am goin to use next week as a major mind-detox so i can clear out all the crap to focus on me work!!!! also jus booked a place on a month trip to thailand so lookin forward to the photo opportunities!

dont rock the boat

iv noticed that we all seem to be strugglin n altho i woudlnt wish it on anyone, its nice to no we'm all in the saerm boat......might jump over board soon though cause i no wot i'm doin now jus need to find a way of gettin on with it!!!

the 1st module (non specialist) is still sort of self portraits....its proper hard xplainin it without showin ya, plus i ay really dun much wrok for it!!!

the 2nd one (whihc i had a massive tutorial on which i didnt really need casuse i was just told things what i already new!!!) is sort of a landscape thing but also comin bak to the self-portrait thing - usin some of my photography work from college so jsut need to get crackin!

proper strugglin to do work at the minit n i dont no why!!!! this shits drivin me mad! i miss jus bein able to do work n get on with it but summat is seriously stoppin me n i dont no what....i'm hatin this! its like anythin anyone has ever told me is comin true or i might jus be fullfillin it sort of like a self-fullfillin prophecy except i didnt make it - christ this isnt makin sense! its jsut frustraytin! am goin to crakc on with the essay for the minit cause atleast i'll be doin somthin productive.

just about....

just about ready to give up on this uni bollocks!! i no i wont cuase i'm to bloody stubborn n i've got to much ridin on this but its drivin me mad. at the minute i'm questionin wyh i'm even doin art n questionin my "ability". i dont no if anyone else has had this but its makin me feel like shit! the only good thing ot come out of it is the fact that bein this frustrated has made me do loads of wrok but i feel like theres no point in even doin it. its stupid but its the way it is at the minit. i dont like this at all.....dont no what to do about it eether. guess i just got to keep goin with it which doesnt sound to much of a bad idea cuase i am stubborn as fuck so definately wont give up on it, just feel like i want to if that makes sense.

what a croc of shite!

have just had my first tutroial of this semester (yeah ok, i missed the 1st 2 but i did tell my tutor i couldnt make it) n it was the biggest load of shit ever!! i dont no how i've come out of it all angry n what not but i'm fumin! i never get a strate answer out of my tutor n he asks stupid bloody questions n when i answer them my answer always seems to be rong!! i cant do right in this place but no one will learn me how to do it right or then i get the answer that theres no right or rong - how fuckin stupid!?!?!?! i've sat n thought about what my tutor said to try n see where hes comin from n what his point is but he hasnt got a point n to be quite honest hes talkin out his arse!! it annoys me that theres never any other tutors around to talk to cause it would be nice to have someone elses input other than my tutors who reads people so rong.....who thinks he nos who you are after speakin to you like 5 times since yuo started uni n its proper frustratin!!! rant over.

TTSAB

     this is for yuo....thanks for stickin with me and givin me the kick up the arse n the inspiration to do it. love and miss yuo always xxxx  TTSAB